Of Lingerie and Longing

"A woman's best weapon is a man's imagination."

By Susan Caba

So said Sally Marr, dean of the Pink Pussycat College of Striptease. Alas, Marr is now dead and her college defunct, but her philosophy—like all great truths—lives on.

Although Marr was talking about strip-tease, her description could just as easily be applied to great lingerie: a wisp of lace, a swath of silk that is not so much a garment as a promise wrapped in mystery.

“Eroticism,” said a Frenchman who founded a Parisian dance hall featuring scantily clad women, “is like a mountain—you can’t see it all at once.” Is it any wonder that Victoria’s Secret is every straight man’s favorite catalog?

Because February is the month when we strive to put the mystery back in romance, I went shopping for lingerie.

I have to admit right off that I’m not a Victoria’s Secret type. It’s not that I wouldn’t like to be, but here’s the thing: As a woman whose figure is more zaftig than svelte, wearing a Wonderbra puts me at severe risk of suffocation. And as for corsets and bustiers, the thought of all the hooking and lacing required to get into them is too exhausting to contemplate.

Here’s the look I want. Last year, Toni Bentley reviewed Striptease: The Untold History of the Girlie Show in the New Republic, saying that striptease has shaped the idea of what is sexy in America. Bentley went on to say that “the stripper is ... the nice girl who might, rather than the bad girl who has.” I want to look just tempting enough to make it worth the effort to persuade me.

Saks and Neiman Marcus, Famous-Barr and Dillard's, Nordstrom and even Sears all offer plenty of lingerie, ranging from negligées to thongs and sexy bras. Lane Bryant has a great selection for those of us who cannot fairly be described as a slip of a girl.

But I want the shopping for lingerie to be as much an event as the wearing of it will be later. I want to be in the mood to get in the mood. No jeans at the mall this day. A pedicure and manicure would have been in order, but I settle for dousing myself lightly in Calvin Klein’s Escape and head for the boutiques.

First stop: Jule (9757 Clayton in Ladue, 314-983-9282, www.juleonline.com). Jenny Hannis has stuffed this little shop with all manner of beribboned temptations. Huit black lace $50 panties—two delicate triangles held together by pale satin ties—matched a silk bra for $85. Babydoll nighties by Eberjey and Cosabella ranged from $64 to $86, with matching thongs for an additional $35. The fabrics were silky, lace trim was abundant and the colors ranged from rose through all the pastels. Looking for just a little something? Jule stocks an amazing variety of thongs, the modern-day manifestation of the fig leaf.

I thought that Margaret's (8103 Maryland in Clayton, 314-725-4033) might be a bit more traditional than Jule, and it’s true: The store does have plenty on hand that’s demure, such as a washable-silk robe for $82. (Owner Ellen Adams advises washing silk in a lingerie bag if you must use the machine.) But Margaret’s, which has been in business forever, carries Mary Green silk pastel boy shorts with lace trim for $20, silk thongs for $12 and—if your lover decides to sweep you away to the tropics—an amazing array of swimsuits.

Like Goldilocks, though, I still hadn’t found a fit that was just right—not until I found Soft Surroundings (33 The Boulevard, across from the Galleria, 314-262-4949). After seven years running a mail-order firm, owner (and St. Louis resident) Robin Sheldon opened this, her first retail store, late in 2005. I wandered in after a glass of wine at Maggiano’s and immediately felt as if I’d slipped into a cozy robe after a warm bath. The theme is “My time. My place. My self.” The ambience is one of self-indulgent comfort. There are hot-pink and neon-green negligees, trimmed with lace, for $78; silk pajamas for $128; and silk nightshirts for $58. Candles, slippers, cashmere socks, satiny sheets and silk pillow covers create a cocoon of luxury. Sinking into such surroundings could make your date almost irrelevant.

Finally, because a man in silk is just as sexy as a woman wearing it, I made a run to Boxers (310 N. Euclid, 314-454-0209, www.mensunderwearstore.com). This is the place for sensuous male underwear, with boxers ranging from $21 to $30 in georgette silk, silk satin or silk gauze (which has a little stretch). Silk knit briefs in a trim, flyless cut are $14.50 and come in about a dozen colors and a couple of prints—including zebra and leopard. The store also carries men’s silk pajamas and robes (trim his present with a thong or brief, wrapped and folded like a rose).

Oh, and I picked up this bit of advice, which somehow seems appropriate, from KissingTips.com: Remember, just because a dress is red satin doesn’t mean it will come off easily.