Ten years ago, newlyweds leaped with excitement to set the Thanksgiving table with their wedding china or drink wine from their wedding crystal. Today’s couple would rather run whitewater rapids in their wedding kayak, hang their wedding Vettriano painting in the dining room or travel to Saudi Arabia to check on their wedding goat.
Couples today want more than “stuff.” They want gifts to help begin their life together—and have unforgettable experiences. Just ask Michael Cottam, co-founder of TheBigDay.com, the largest online gift registry in America. His philosophy is simple: Let the couple register for whatever they want. Whether it’s a swanky dinner for two at the honeymoon destination of their choice or a $100 donation to the American Cancer Society, these couples are getting what they ask for.
“People are beginning to value experience and travel more than material things,” Cottam says. “Today’s wedding couple doesn’t really value a full set of china sitting unused in the cupboard.”
Couples are also registering for ecotours or adventure travel as a honeymoon (Cottam had one couple take a 90-day cruise to India, complete with snake-charming lessons). Wedding guests don’t have to pay for the entire trip; they can give something really personal, such as “the bride’s first scuba dive in the open ocean.”
Gifts aren’t always for the couple, either. St. Louisans Jenny Elliott and Justin Alexander—avid travelers with a strong social conscience—made national news by registering for goats, sheep and cows for people in Third World countries. (According to Justin, the registry was the “dullest and most normal” part of their relationship.)
The Internet’s nationwide registries allow wedding gifts of all kinds to be purchased, gift-wrapped (OK, maybe not the goat) and delivered anywhere in the world with the click of a mouse. But going to an actual store is far from obsolete. Just remember that what you find in that store might be a little larger than flatware. At REI, outdoorsy couples register for canoes, tents and sleeping bags that zip together. Z Gallerie’s Susan Neuner says that although the store also offers traditional dinnerware and home furnishings, some creative couples are registering for art, avoiding the dilemma of winding up with “six toasters and nothing on the walls.”
Traditionalist Karen Jacquemotte, a bridal consultant at Dillard’s for eight years, feels a mild frustration with the new way of registering. The department store is one of few registry locations that still recommends making an appointment, and Jacquemotte urges her customers not to overlook the prized possessions of their parents’ generation—things the couple won’t want to spend money on themselves but will gladly bring out for special occasions and entertaining.
“We try to encourage them to get the formal things, but they can’t see past a year down the road,” Jacquemotte says.
They’re too busy living.
