By Don Corrigan
You don’t have to be totally evolved or even intelligently designed to be wowed by the range of issues our state legislators are willing to grapple with. Here’s a look at some of the outlandish legislative proposals from 2005 that may be back on the agenda for the 2006 session.
HCR26: Best Bill for a Bill
This state resolution calls for the U.S. Congress to pass the Constitutional Restoration Act, which would prevent meddling courts from voiding laws that have a basis in Biblical law. Can state-sanctioned stonings be far behind?
HB666: Scariest Numbers Bill
Who cares what this bill is about—its numbers are the Mark of the Beast. Actually, the beasts involved in this legislation most often are puppies. HB666 prevents the photographing of any animal facility, particularly puppy mills.
HB638: Best Book ’Em Bill
This bill repeals requirements that the chief executive of a library district be a duly qualified graduate librarian. Over-education can be such a dangerous thing—even downright subversive. Besides, isn’t being a good librarian just a matter of getting all those books back in the stacks in alphabetical order?
SB197: Just Playin’ Dumb Bill
The proposed law prohibits public-school sports teams from participating in athletic tournaments held in municipalities tolerant of marijuana use. Legislators to coaches: “Let’s nip all this [reefer] madness in the bud!”
