Restaurant reviewing isn’t exactly rocket surgery. You really think describing the early-bird special is equivalent to pulling off cold fusion? Come on. What you’ll need, though, is the ability to use words such as “convivial” and “unprepossessing” without feeling silly. More important, you’ll have to be on the cutting edge of culinary buzzwords, which tend to come and go faster than each of Madonna’s self-reinventions. Really, the only thing standing between you and an exciting and rewarding career in the big-money world of restaurant criticism is a larger vocabulary. Here are a handful of preparations or ingredients you’re likely to encounter on menus ...
Planking. Take a salmon, whole or filleted, and roast it directly on a piece of wood. Do this correctly (which means, among other things, that the wood does not burst into flames in the oven) on a piece of cedar or alder, and the smoky, woody scent permeates the delicate meat delightfully. Do it with a plank of oak or maple, and your fish will taste like a freshly milled two-by-four from Home Depot.
Emulsion. Chemists define an emulsion as a non-mixing suspension of globules of liquid in another liquid. (Imagine the two liquids as boys and girls at a junior-high dance.) Cooks use the term to describe any kind of thick sauce, such as a Hollandaise, in which ingredients are suspended together. All sorts of emulsions appear now on menus, incorporating everything from raisins to beets to, soon, Gummi bears. Think of emulsions as exotically flavored mayonnaises.
Tagine. Wandering the wilds of Morocco for a living had its moments, but ovens were hard to come by for nomadic tribes—so they created the tagine, a conical ceramic witch hat that worked on an open fire for slow cooking. Trendy restaurant chefs have great ovens, but they like to experiment, which is why you’ll see menus touting meats and vegetables that have been “tagine roasted.”
Nage. “Our specials tonight include a mustard-encrusted ahi tuna with a red pepper and chervil–infused nage” is a line cherished by Your Server Tonight because he knows he’ll be able to condescendingly explain what “nage” is. It’s French for “swimming.” À la nage refers to a dish simmered in a well-flavored broth. Happenin’ restaurants have been playing a little loose here recently, though, using “nage” to describe broth prepared separately from the food over which it’s poured.
Soubise. A soubise is a riff on the basic béchamel sauce, with sautéed—though never browned—onions added to the butter, flour, milk (or cream) and salt of a béchamel. Veal sweetbreads are rendered nearly magical with a good soubise, a fabulous dish to make if you’re having vegetarians over for dinner. Hip eateries are serving soubise with ravioli and lots of other creative ways and that’s fine. Beware of such fast-and-loose menu descriptions as “tomato soubise,” though.
Coulis. Got strawberries or a mango in your kitchen about to go over the hill? Purée the fruit, add a little powdered sugar and lemon juice and a dash of rum, and you’ve got a great topping for ice cream. When a restaurant kitchen does the same, it’s got a coulis. A coulis is any thick sauce made from strained or puréed ingredients. Fruit coulis is common on menus, but watch for vegetable coulis, such as those made of red or yellow peppers, which are currently very in.
Gastrique. It may sound like an antacid, but it’s actually a reduction sauce, typically made with vinegar, sugar and fruit juices. The orangey sauce that puts the “à la orange” in duck à l’orange is a gastrique; peach gastrique is a famous accompaniment to pork dishes. Gastriques are trendy menu items; you will see them accompanying everything from appetizers to desserts.
