For loved ones with dementia—the condition of degenerating mental functions like thinking, memory, and reasoning—the holidays can be an acutely difficult time of the year.
“For the patients, they will be going to dinners with lots of conversation where the noise level and stimulation can be overwhelming,” says Steve Miskovic, program director at Memory Care Home Solutions, which provides training and education for family members caring for loved ones experiencing the loss of mental functions. “With dementia, patients don’t have the ability to focus anymore and continue to lose the ability to process.”
For family caregivers of a relative with dementia, Alzheimer’s disease or memory loss, they can experience additional stress, too. “The biggest issue with the holidays is all of the running around, the chaos that ensues with dinners and parties,” says Miskovic. “It’s a lot to handle for caregivers.”
When it comes to assisting a parent, grandparent, spouse, or other family member with dementia this month, the staff at Memory Care Home Solutions recommends the following seven steps:
1) Tone down decorations: Flashing tree lights can cause disorientation, and artificial fruits can be mistaken for real food and choked on. If you think candles might pose a problem at the dinner table as people pass dishes, then replace them with a different centerpiece.
2) Keep a quiet room as a getaway: A bedroom or den away from the main activity of a holiday party is an ideal place to take a senior who gets agitated because of dementia. “They might have some music or a TV program that they may like,” says Miskovic. “It allows them to get away from the situation.”
3) Pick and choose traditions: Coordinating family traditions, meals, and festivities might be increasingly difficult if you are also caring for a loved one with dementia. Maintain only those that are most important to you and your family, or see if another family member will take the reins on planning something.
4) Delegate responsibilities: Every party runs smoother if you enlist the help of guests, especially if a main priority is keeping your loved one with dementia happy. Accept gestures to prepare dishes or help with clean up, and don’t try to do it all yourself.
5) Apprise family members of your loved one’s condition: Though you may be familiar with your relative’s behavior, you’ll want to inform your guests and relatives of her most recent difficulties. Even younger kids should be told that a relative is a little sick and might not act like she used to. “People are better able to handle the situation when updated about the relative’s situation,” says Miskovic.
6) Rethink gift-giving: There’s always someone who is tough to buy for. This year, it might be the relative with dementia. Avoid power tools and complicated games or puzzles. Something as simple as a photo album or a recording of old music might delight someone suffering from memory loss.
7) Make meals flexible: This applies to both the time you serve meals and the types of
food that you serve. Meals might need to be eaten earlier if your loved one with dementia
gets restless in the evening, and it is a good idea to have a backup dish that you can quickly prepare if someone doesn’t fancy the main course.
Additional Information:
www.webmd.com/alzheimers/guide/alzheimers-dementia
www.memorycarehs.org/documents/Four%20Myths%20about%20Dementia.pdf
