A slightly generalized analysis of St. Louis’ java junkies
By Sarah Truckey
Photograph by Katherine Bish
Some requests are elaborate, some very simple. Some use words that cannot be found in a dictionary—or in the vocabulary of anyone but the caffeine-addicted. And around here, all coffee orders offer a little insight into who’s doing the ordering—age, sex, occupation, maintenance level ...
Coffee knows no season, but what better time than now—when it’s cold and the steam from a fresh cup seems to rise from every hand—to examine who’s drinking what? Who knew that something as simple as a venti half-caf, no-foam latte with a pump of sugar-free vanilla could say so much about a person?
“Just a grande coffee.”
A favorite among Washington University administrators, this simple beverage is for the seemingly low-maintenance and hardcore caffeine addicts. Europeans on extended stays in the United States, teenagers trying to look cool and most men over the age of 50 are fans.
“Give me a dry double-tall, no-foam cappuccino.”
Tends to be popular with overworked Fleishman-Hillard flacks, local restaurant owners/chefs, film directors and crews, singers and actors. It’s a high-maintenance drink for stressed-out people who probably deserve to be this picky.
“Iced soy chai, please.”
For anyone trying to be healthy or who can afford the extra 50 cents for the soy. Yoga instructors, recycling gurus and employees of Whole Foods, Wild Oats and Trader Joe’s are typical consumers (as are college kids and the lactose-intolerant).
“Can I have a java-chip Frappuccino with extra whip?”
Considered a dessert by most (and rarely had by men), this coffee drink is consumed by some on a daily basis. Look for the Nerinx High schoolgirl, elderly woman or middle-aged mother from Chesterfield, sipping away through a straw.
“Hot chocolate!”
Had by anyone under the age of 8 whose parents are convinced that caffeine will stunt their child’s growth—or by the desperate Galleria employee determined to give up coffee after yet another holiday season of downing cup after cup just to survive.
