Photos by Shirley Ho and Bruce Shippee
The aroma of cinnamon, the tinkling of crystal goblets, a roaring fire, the blast of cold air as guests arrive, hors d’oeuvres on silver trays, snow falling gently at evening’s end—all memories of holidays past. In fact, some of the best (and worst) holiday memories come from the parties thrown in their honor.
The trick is to catch the momentum of the season—but not the angst.
Don’t strain to make everything perfect, but do start planning early. “Planning ahead can really allow you to be creative, because you don’t have to make snap decisions—and you’ll save money,” says Nardi Hobler of Party Arts. She also suggests sending invitations as early as possible so your guests aren’t forced to choose between your party and another.
Interior designer John Fletcher says the guest list is “even more important than fabulous food” when it comes to throwing a great party. “Don’t be afraid to mix people,” he urges. “Should you invite this crowd with that crowd? Absolutely. Throw them all together. That’s the beauty of holiday parties; they’re big enough to shake up the mix. You will be delightfully surprised at who knows whom and at the connections that are made.”
John Sullivan, design consultant for Ken Miesner’s, says that custom-illustrated invitations will make a party special from the start. For place cards, he likes to use ornaments—or set a gift at each place and let the gift tag act as the place card. Hobler suggests getting playful, even using scrapbooking materials to personalize your invitations and place cards. “Let your ideas percolate,” she says. “Start with a color, a word, a person’s name, an ethnicity, anything.”
Rob Schaefer of the Coronado Ballroom says presenting hors d’oeuvres when the guests walk in will set a tone for the rest of the evening. He also advises locating the food and drinks away from doorways to avoid jams. Schaefer uses a theme to focus the menu. For example, a party might have an Italian theme, with catering from the Hill and fine Italian wine at the bar, or an Asian theme with sushi and sake.
Some St. Louisans host English madrigal dinners; one woman planned an Austrian sledding party. Other party-givers use a color, a historical period or a film genre as their muse. One host served the fare of famous parties past, from the appetizers served at John and Jacqueline Kennedy’s wedding reception to Tang martinis from the moon landing. Another party, themed as “New York New Year’s Eve,” was graced with a 10-foot Statue of Liberty and a faux Empire State Building (including someone dressed in a King Kong outfit). At the door, guests were given watches with alarms that, unbeknownst to the recipients, had been set to go off at midnight.
To enhance even a simple party’s overall atmosphere, Schaefer recommends replacing regular light bulbs with amber ones. Fletcher lights from below, using “soft lighting so no one knows where it’s coming from. All the light should be peripheral, nothing overhead. Bare bulbs hurt the eyes, as do chandeliers that aren’t shaded. Don’t let anyone be aware of the light sources—except the roaring fireplace and a few candles.”
Once you’ve softened the lighting, plan the music. “It’s a fine art to move a crowd through an evening,” Fletcher remarks. “Your music should take the direction you want your party to follow. If you want the party to start big and boisterous and then calm itself, plan your music accordingly. If you want the party to start slow and gentle and build to a wild, exciting finish, that’s what your music should do. You can orchestrate your party through your music choice.”
Among younger hosts, Hobler sees a trend toward global music, an easy way to add cultural overtones from all over the world. Schaefer loves hiring a violinist or 'guitar player to set the mood, then transitioning to favorite CDs.
When it comes to decorating, Schaefer notes that “the color palette for holiday events has changed. We are moving away from the traditional holiday colors and moving toward matching the décor of your home.” Fletcher says it’s been years since he thought in terms of red and green. “I don’t get color-specific,” he explains. “I just use crystal snowflakes and crystal balls and hang crystals from the chandelier. I love the play of light.”
Schaefer says people are also shying away from conventional holiday wreaths and turning to topiaries, which may be decorated to suit any season. For the holidays, he suggests berries or richly colored ribbon.
Powder rooms have become a popular place to decorate, says floral designer Dale Rohman. “It’s always nice to have a touch of the holidays there,” he says, be it flowers or such increasingly popular natural elements as twigs and branches, apples and berries. He also sees a move toward multiple trees, with “the traditional family tree in the family room, the decorative tree in the living room or where they are entertaining and smaller trees in guest rooms, which make the guests feel very special.”
There’s an equally strong trend in the opposite direction: “I don’t even do a tree anymore,” says Fletcher. “I run a rod across the top of my bay window, and that’s where I hang my precious collection of ornaments, from gossamer silver ribbons, with crystal snowflakes interspersed. It’s been liberating.”
Schaefer encourages people to hang seasonal artwork over the mantel or arrange glass vases filled with colored water and candles on top of the mantel. Outdoors, he sometimes places candles in mason jars or small paper bags filled with sand along the walkway for a serene nighttime glow as guests arrive. Or he hangs old-fashioned lanterns, streaming holiday ribbons, on either side of the front door. Rohman encourages the use of flowers outdoors because the cold air helps keep them fresh, their petals crisp and unwilted, for days on end. Indoors, he suggests waiting until just before the party to add flowers.
And with the fragrances of flowers, evergreen boughs, hors d’oeuvres and perhaps hot spiced wine already swirling, Hobler warns against adding holiday scents to your home. “You don’t want to overpower the guests with too much fragrance,” she explains, “and you don’t want smells to interfere with people’s dinner.”
Dinner! To reduce the stress of throwing a holiday soiree, many people use caterers. Finding the right one might seem like an extra chore, but the arrangements can be surprisingly flexible. “Anything the host or hostess wants to do themselves to save, as long as it seems reasonable, is fine with me,” says Linda Pilcher of Simply Elegant Catering. “If they want us to do everything, that’s great, too.”
If you decide to prepare the food yourself, estimate carefully. One of the most common mistakes people make is not having enough food for their guests. St. Louis hostess Emily Falter knows this all too well. “My grandma used to talk about holidays where they would serve goose, so my mother kept pestering her to bake one for our Christmas gathering,” Falter says. “Unfortunately, she cooked the goose too long, and it shrank so much that there was barely enough to feed one person.”
So how—if your goose isn’t already cooked—do you estimate quantities? The pros at Straub’s recommend buying a pound of meat per person if it contains bones, a half-pound per person if the meat is boneless. The half-pound rule also works for side dishes such as salads and vegetables. Straub’s advises ordering three or four hors d’oeuvres per person.
If you’ve grown weary of the 1950s deviled-ham rounds or your mother’s braunschweiger-Philly loaf, try sushi or soup shots and tapas. Beef tenderloin is back as an entrŽe—and it’s one of the easiest to prepare, Pilcher says. She’s also seeing a trend toward vegetarian dishes but warns that they may be difficult to prepare on your own.
Chocolate fountains and specialty coffee drinks have also gained in popularity. Hobler recently attended a party where guests were treated to a dessert buffet and a coffee station where they could make special coffee drinks. “That’s a gracious touch,” she says. “It is something out of the ordinary.”
As a conclusion to the evening, Schaefer recommends giving guests a small gift such as chocolates, scented candles or a memento related to the theme of the party. “I underplay the Christmas aspect of the holidays, because that’s for children and I have none,” says Fletcher, “but I love the spirit of giving, so I make something every year for everyone I love—my family’s secret fudge recipe—and package it in a gold-leaf box I designed. Take your family’s traditions and make the most of them.”
Holiday parties are about tradition—and breaking tradition in creative ways—and having fun with the people you enjoy the most, creating new holiday memories. And if everything doesn’t go as planned? You’ll have a great story for your next party.
