It’s an act of kindness. You’re feeding their habit. It’s the purest altruism. It’s a sop to guilt. It’s necessary.
I wage the argument with myself on highway ramps and sidewalks all over the city. How dare I judge, even if somebody’s going to ask me for cash and then spend it on cheap whiskey? Do I think by handing you a buck, I’ve bought a piece of your conscience? On the other hand, how kind is it to help somebody slowly kill their mind and body? If I really knew and loved you, I couldn’t do it.
“But it’s not your family,” Rev. John Kavanaugh gently reminds me. “There’s no place for an intervention there.” A Jesuit who teaches ethics at Saint Louis University, Kavanaugh doesn’t give me the easy yes-or-no I’m hoping for. He says he’s glad to give panhandlers a dollar or two, “but the best thing is to talk to them. To be willing to have contact: to engage if you have the time, to listen, to hear. Most people learn to avoid any contact whatsoever. Or they just give a buck or five bucks and don’t have any context at all. Sometimes I think it’s better to just not give anything if you are not even going to ask a person’s name.
“I ask, ‘What do you want with this?’ Some people say they want to make a trip. Others say they want food, and I’ll say, ‘I’ll get you some food.’ One person said, ‘Oh, no, never mind.’ I’ve had people say, ‘I’m down and out, I just want to get some wine.’ I have no problem with that. If I have a buck, I’ll give it, and I just say, ‘I hope you can overcome this thing.’
“Help if you think they need help. After a while, you can find out whether it’s a routine. Some people, I will not give anything because I’ve seen them too often. It’s an avoidance procedure.” He pauses. “I still talk to them, though.”
Rev. Kathleen Wilder is pastor of Centenary and Lafayette Park United Methodist churches and director of The Bridge, a daytime drop-in center for people who are homeless.
“First of all, the majority of people who are panhandling aren’t homeless,” she says crisply. “Those who are really need to be connecting with the agencies that can help them. The change you give them is not going to give them what they need. It actually enables them to remain with their addictions.
“I say, ‘Go to 1610 Olive, and we will feed you. Ask to speak to one of our social workers, and we will get you the connections you need.’ But the average person on the street doesn’t know where to point someone. So in that moment of ‘Help me!’ they freeze, and they want to help, and the only way they can think about it is to give cash.
“Yes, there’s maybe a momentary feeling good when you give somebody that money on the street. But that’s nothing compared to the impact of giving money to a place like St. Patrick Center that is really transforming lives. Matthew 25 doesn’t say, ‘I was hungry and you gave me cash.’ If you feel a need to do something in the moment, find a Subway, buy them food, and sit down and talk to them. Then, refer them to a place that can make a permanent difference.”
Wilder suggests carrying a card with the names of agencies and their contact information: St. Patrick Center, The Bridge, Peter and Paul Community Services, Grace Hill, Gateway Homeless Services... Jay Swoboda, founder of Whats Up Magazine—written and sold by men and women who are homeless, and who keep the profits—says it won’t make any difference: “If someone is truly out on the streets, they are pretty aware of those options. Many have developed relationship issues where they don’t feel welcome someplace, or they are tired of the same old thing.”
Swoboda’s not wild about the Real Change parking meters in the Central West End, either. “That’s the impersonal social conservative approach to panhandling,” he says. “‘I don’t want to give you my change, but I’m going to put it in this remote pot that will get channeled…’ It’s kind of the Downtown Partnershippy approach to ‘Let’s act like we’re doing something about panhandling when really we just want them to go somewhere else.’ Totally depersonalizing the issue.
“My thoughts are, do whatever feels right. If you’re afraid the money’s buying a 32-ounce beer that is then going to be discarded on the sidewalk for you to step over, those are the negative externalities of poverty. I like to think that Whats Up addresses the root causes.
“It’s a huge pride-blowing event to go out there and legitimately ask for cash,” Swoboda says. “But most of the folks who are doing that are addressing their addiction. They’re holding a sign, “Will work for food, “and you offer them work, and they say, ‘Screw you.’” Better to be blunt: “Why lie? Need a beer.”
“It’s a little holier than thou, all this ‘Don’t give because they might drink,’ Swoboda remarks. “Just because someone has alcohol on their breath—if you have to fall asleep in a downtown doorway, believe me, it will take a few shots of whiskey. Self-medicating when our system has let them down is a pretty reasonable way to go about things. But generally I offer them an opportunity rather than money. And if I feel they might be receptive, I’ll add a dollar along with my card, so they think, ‘This guy might be legit.’
“You have to use your common sense and seek authentic human interaction, not just look for an easy out,” he concludes. “If you go at it with an open heart and actually talk to the person like a human being, rather than throwing a dollar in their hand so you can quickly escape that awkward interaction, you’re putting yourself out there. And you never know how it’s going to pay forward.”
