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Tuesday, November 27, 2012 / 3:45 PM

What to Wear When Kicking Yourself to the Curb

What to Wear When Kicking Yourself to the Curb

"Tis the season," yeah yeah. We all have read a tip or two about what to wear to the holiday office party. But has anyone addressed the issue of what to wear to a "Moving Out of the Marital Home" party?

Talk about a narrow little ledge between wanting to look like you're on top of the world and wanting to wear pajamas because you're so exhausted from packing. That's right—you have dug through every last drawer, every cabinet in search of every single little spoon that might belong to you and now you face another day, freshly showered, revved up on sugar-free Red Bull and adrenaline. Even if you're not ready to look good for new guys (and you better not be, with all the drama you've just been through), you may not know what an inspiration you could be to other women.

I have quickly learned that divorce has a domino effect. One woman goes down and the others behind her topple. It's not that misery is contagious, I think it's the bravado that gets other girls going, to get the heck out of a bad relationship. Let him have the house! You're taking your Christian Louboutins right on out to buy new furniture. Same clothes, new house, improved life. So if breaking up causes the other dominoes to tumble, it also works in reverse. The woman behind you also pads your fall. Women have an uncanny knack of smelling need in their fellow girls and getting right in place to cushion the impact of a terrible catastrophe. Domino falls, or look at this way, domino holds you up. I also know that the woman who is slightly ahead of you always smells good. Don't ask me why.

I have a date. With some movers. And will I be wearing something that says I am forlorn and wimpy? Hell no. I found a house that says Jacqueline Susann in Pucci lounging pajamas. I will, however, be wearing comfortable shoes. Not ugly shoes. Comfortable. I am excited to be kicking myself to the curb and I'm going to look damn cute doing it. Anyone up for rum and coconut water on my new deck? Wear your Pucci and perfume. Better to look great for your girlfriends, who you know will appreciate it.
 

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