SLM Daily

Thanks to the First Amendment, anyone—and we do mean anyone—can “adopt” a public road, if they pledge to pick up refuse along it a few times a year. The KKK has adopted a stretch of I-55 (do they clean it while wearing their white hoods?), the atheists have done the same, and now the “St. Louis 9/11 Questions Meetup Group”—folks who enjoy getting together to share abstruse conjecture about the tragedy and what “really” happened—has adopted a stretch of Olive Boulevard in Creve Coeur.

Now that the gates of absurdity have officially been blown open, we present, for your pleasure, suggestions for 20 organizations that could get in on the act (and possibly ruffle some feathers along the way). They’re all real groups, and a majority of them have official St. Louis chapters.

We looked for a gay-Warcraft-players-for-Jesus organization without success. Sometimes the Internet, believe it or not, is not as weird as one might hope.

• The Irritable Bowel Syndrome Support Group
• Smurf memorabilia collectors
• People who doubt that earthlings ever landed on the moon
• Anonymous
• Birthers
• Al Qaeda (or at least the people running this Twitter account)
• Anarchists
• Taggers
• The United Black Drag Racers Association of St. Louis
• Beat Me in St. Louis bondage convention
• Secessionists
• The Hell’s Angels
• Circus “geeks” who bite the heads off live chickens
• Polyamorists
• The St. Louis “Natural Hair” Meetup Group
• The Streetfighterz motorcycle stunt team (known for doing dangerous tricks at high speed on highways in [or against] traffic)
• Some local clowns
• Christian, single, and ready to mingle
• Kabbalists
• The Jazzercise set