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Friday, December 21, 2012 / 12:28 PM

St. Louis in 2012: It Could Have Been Worse (Please Excuse the Verse)

St. Louis in 2012: It Could Have Been Worse (Please Excuse the Verse)

Everybody loves sea lions.

What a year, what a year
It was quite a year, yes?
Better than some
but far from the best.

I mean, the City schools got kind-of legit,
and the Mayor’s top cop up and quit.
Biondi tried to eliminate tenure
(so far it hasn’t been a career-ender).

The Library’s completed—put that on the shelf!
Todd Akin legitimately doomed himself.
J.C. and Slaten both got the axe.
The summer was too damned hot to relax.

 

The last of Ralston Purina went to Con-Ag.
There’s a pool at the Zoo where the sea lions wag.
The Chinese lanterns lit MoBot; it was passing strange,
We prepped the Mississippi River Bridge and Mercantile Exchange.

They finally built a place for the extra, wandrin’ hounds
Someday, they say, folks like us will float through the Arch Grounds.
The NRA convention went off with a bang,
Some farmers pissed off the Monsanto gang.

But, pshaw to the laws and the courts!
What we really dig is sports.
Mizzou joined the SEC rolls,
The Cards fought for the pennant without Pujols.

The Rams demanded (another) new dome,
Hey, Ballpark Village? Ain’t nobody home?
The Blues won a few, then lost to the Kings
The press declared this field one of the ugliest things.

It’s been swell, 2012, if you’ll pardon the rhyme,
Now play us off, Ernie Hays, one last time…


 

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